Co-Ed wedding shower problems with the bride-to-be.?

I decided to have a wedding shower for my husband's cousin and his soon -to-be new wife. I let them know last year in October as soon as they announced their engagement that I wanted 2 have a co-ed shower for them. Problem is that NONE of the bride's family or girlfriends have planned any showers or parties for her and as a result the bride 2 be is wanting to invite ALL of her friends, family and everyone else in addition 2 the people that I had ALREADY planned to invite. I am related 2 the groom and do not know the bride or her friends.ALSO, no one else is offering to go in with me to be able to provide for the EXTRA guests or to go in and rent a banquet hall, since I had planned on hosting an at-home shower with about 30 people invited. I will be the sole one prepairing the food,decorations, designing the floral arrangements and everything in between. I feel very much taken advantaged of. Also, their shower date is in only a few short weeks away. Please guys,got any good advice 4 me?

Co-Ed wedding shower problems with the bride-to-be.?
As another mentioned, you need to advise the bride that you are hosting this shower in your home (be firm that no halls will be rented) and have a list of 30 people from your side of the family that you will be inviting. She just needs to advise her relatives that the shower you are throwing is only for the groom's family. If they wanted a shower for their family, then they can make arrangements for that shower.





Best wishes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Edited to add: It really is a courtesy to ask the bride for a guest list, it's not a requirement. It's also customary in many families that each one hosts a shower for their side and it's a bit presumptuous of the bride to assume that she can invite her entire family to a shower being hosted by the groom's male cousin and his wife.





Seriously, the bridesmaids would normally host the shower for everyone else. I would probably mention this to the bride and let her discuss it with her friends and family.
Reply:I would get in touch with the bridesmaids, explain the situation, and hopefully they step up to the plate and pitch in. If not then I would explain to the B2B that while you appreciate her input, it's really poor etiquette on her part to have anything to do with the planning of a bridal shower.





Good luck!
Reply:You need to sit them down and tell them what your intention was when you offered -- 30 people, mostly the grooms family, in your home.


Ask if anyone else has mentioned hosting a shower for them and if they could put you in touch with that person to possibly share the costs because you simply cannot accomodate all those people at your home.
Reply:Well, I am sorry things are not working out well, but you offered to through a bridal shower. You are supposed to ask the bride and groom who they want to attend the party. It is THEIR party, not yours. It's time to start calling up friends and family and ask for their help.
Reply:I kind of feel you put your self in this position.





You need to take into consideration who the brides wants to have attend. If you feel like this is too much for you to do all alone then you need to voice what you can do, and anything above and beyound that ..you will need assistance with.





GOOD LUCK!





ps, i think it is kinda rude to assume you can just invite 'mostly' the grooms relatives.
Reply:If I was you, I would just be honest with her. It is customary for the hostess to ask for a guestlist from the bride, including names and addresses. I would ask her for a guestlist and I would explain that I have limited space and resources since I alone am hosting the shower, I am unable to accomodate more than 30 guests.


Another option is to contact the maid of honor and bridesmaids and ask if they would like to be co-hostesses. Since it is for both men and women, ask the groom's attendents, also.


Does your church have a "Fellowship Hall" or any kind of meeting rooms? If so, you may be able to use that rent free, then just provide the food and some flower arrangements for the tables.


the more people you involve, the more ideas you will have as well as money and (wo)man-power!!
Reply:Not everyone has, nor wants, loads of showers. As host, it is your responsibility to make sure the bride gives you a list of who she wants there. It is not your decision on who is allowed to attend. You can't invite your friends, just people on her list. If it is a space issue, tell the bride your home can fit a certain amount of people. So get the list, send out the invitations and organize this with the wedding party. As the host, you need to step up, get your can in gear and plan a great party for your cousin and his wife.
Reply:This is going to sound brideszilla-ish, and will probably get me thumbs down, but I don't care.





If my invite list for the shower didn't get taken into consideration, I would have been pissed and may have had the host cancel everything. What's the point if I can't be surrounded by the people I love?





Start calling around and find support from MOB, MOG, bridesmaids, groomsman (since it's co-ed). You can do it