Does planning a wedding make you feel poor?

Planning a wedding makes me feel so poor! I mean, who has $400 to spend on invitations!?! That's insane! And $2,500 for four measly hours of photography! It's like sticker shock at every turn! Is anyone else just SHOCKED by how much all this stuff costs? My budget is about 10 thousand (not including the honeymoon or rehearsal or rings or anything...just ceremony and recepetion) and I feel like I have to cut corners and be cheap to stay on budget (I am making my own invitations and floral arrangements to save $). It's just ridiculous how much weddings cost! I know Im not poor but this industry sure does a good job of making me feel like Im being cheap. Am I the only one?

Does planning a wedding make you feel poor?
nah...those things are damn expensive....remember you dont need to invite your cousins aunts husbands dog.....keep it close that will help you save
Reply:NOOOO...It is crazy how much they want for things. My wedding is costing me $20,000 and I did everything as cheaply a I possible could.
Reply:No. We knew how much we could afford to spend as a couple, how much we had saved, and how much we could afford to spend leading up to the wedding. It just means good budgeting.


Your cost for photography is WAY too much, by the way.
Reply:I too am spending 10,000 and I feel so poor!!! We're only having between 50 - 60 guests, so I don't know were else to cut corners without the wedding looking cheap or tacky!!


This is my major area of stress right now - trying to figure out how we will pay for everything!
Reply:No you are certainly NOT the only one. Your not being cheap or cutting corners you are being sane. My friends did whatever they could to save money and they did it well. Find a photography student or shop around. Make your own stuff...sentimental things look and feel better anyway. As a guest I wasn't there for the dog and pony show...I was there to support my friends and celebrate their marriage. Think about all the things you could do with the money you save...things that could maybe last more than 8 or so hours! I wish you wedding bliss and bliss beyond.
Reply:Just avoid buying those stupid magazines-- they usually feature $75,000 weddings. We had a wonderful, beautiful wedding but kept to a low budget--- less than yours. If you keep shopping around, you can find vendors who have decided to forgo the big dollar clients and make a good living serving the "normal" people.


I got my invitations online and they were less than $150
Reply:yeah your poor if your wedding costs a lot then you wont be able to afford house and food and marriage and fighting.
Reply:Don't let the merchandizers get to you!





It is all hype.





When you look at Vogue or other magazines, do you expect your real-life wardrobe to be made of those expensive items? Do you feel inferior that you don't live that way? Of course not (hopefully)! Wedding magazines are the same. Trying to up-sell the most expensive tier of designer items, even though it is completely unrealistic for 99.99% of the potential audience. And yet we PAY, to be advertised to, when we buy the magazines!





As long as you fulfill your hosting responsibilities properly (get a reliable etiquette book and follow closely!) there is NO SHAME in having a modest wedding, and at $10K, honestly, that is a pretty expensive wedding, on average. I'm surprised you feel you have to cut so many corners.





Only when people start to reject this fake "magazine ideal" will the industry begin to change. Stop buying the (tacky, ostentatious) ideas they are selling, and have better, more real weddings.
Reply:No, you aren't the only one. Weddings are very expensive. What I suggest is that determine your budget and stick to it. Let the vendors earn your business, and don't let them guilt you into anything. Look at it as an adventure or project, and see how much you can get for the least amount of money. Other suggestions: keep your bridal party small, your guest count low, do and make as much as you can yourselves. Look for wedding dresses that are on clearance, or look at bridesmaids dresses that come in white. Buy plain white shoes that you'll wear again. Look for items at the dollar store. Accept offers of money or help from anyone who offers. Borrow things you'll only use once. Cut out the thrills that don't matter, and concentrate on the important things. Don't be afraid to negotiate or let vendors know that you're on a budget, and see if they're willing to come down in price--especially that photographer. Don't hire the first vendor, get price comparisons. And avoid the word "wedding". It seems that anything that has that word attached to it, also has a huge mark-up. With some ingenuity and creativity, you can do it. Good luck.
Reply:I am an Event Planner a.k.a. Wedding Coordinator too, and the average wedding nowdays somehow rates between the $15,000 to $25,000 so yes it a lot of tricky to find what is best to pick in good quality at the good cost.





You go with what you want to look more fascinating in terms of decorations, food, your dress, flowers, etc...and then play with how much of the big bulk of the money you want to place at it high. Then you go with the rest, mostly of the case the 37% of the cost of the Wedding goes to the Reception and Catering.





Look for this book "Bridal Bargains, Secrets of Throwing a fantastic Wedding on a realistic budget" 8th Edition from authors Denise and Alan Fields ( check on Borders) is a GREAT source and I follow lots of their ideas in my plans.......





Good Luck
Reply:Yes, it's totally ridiculous...I went to weddingpaperdivas.com and got a good price for invites...after tax it was around $180,


http://www.weddingpaperdivas.com/product...


i went to Group USA and found a beautiful dress before tax is $399 with a $50 off coupon


http://www.groupusa.com/c-product.cfm?ic...


and went to michaels and found a book to make centerpieces that are not all about the flowers...


BUT yes, this industry stinks - hair places will charge you more than normal to get your wedding hair done...and nail salons often hike the prices too for the same reason....it really sucks.
Reply:Honey, I feel your pain! I am getting married March 21, 2009 (basically 2 years away) and I have about the same budget! I started early so I could help to cut corners but GEEZ things are so pricey! I am doing my own decor for the reception, my arrangements and bouquets, and some of my great college friends have agreed to bartend and wait tables for the reception...FOR FREE. Its insane how much goes into this. As much as I feel irritated but those price stickers, I know that when its all said and done, it will be amazing! A great tip someone gave to me was to sign up at the Knot.com! They offer brides to be great discounts on favors, decorations, and other bridal items! I got some great table decorations for 200 guests (approx. 25 tables) for only $100.00! They are large,so it takes up most of the table! It really has been a nice relief. They even have great "to-do lists" for all members of the bridal party! Just remember that you aren't alone, so just talk to your 'maids and they can console you! Another way to "cut corners" is have a girls night with margaritas and have the girls help you do some party planning! A few cocktails with your closest friends never made anyone feel bad! Best of Luck and CONGRATS!
Reply:You're not the only one! I feel poor on a good day but when I started wedding planning I nearly had a heart attack! Now I see why my Dad made the offer of $10K if I'd just elope... :-)
Reply:Yep! I get totally boggled every time I see how much something costs. I just saw how much hair and makeup for the bride would cost... $330!!


That's just a lot of money. I think as soon as the word wedding or bridal is included in anything where money exchanges hands, the price goes way up.





Most people who are getting married for the first time are young and just starting out. It's really awful to make everything so expensive for weddings - making even just a nice simple wedding unattainable for a lot of people without cutting corners and doing a lot of it yourself.
Reply:yes this is normal when planning any event.
Reply:yes.. i have done a great job at cutting all the corners


my family isn't overly rich, and my htb and i are both students (we can afford to live though)


i have decided to make my own cake, use fake flowers, have a friend of mind (who is a brilliant photographer, not pro, but really good) to do the pics, i bought a sample wedding dress, my cousin will be the wedding singer and will have everything done under about $6000.. nothing looks shabby, but its saving me thousands
Reply:No planning a wedding does not make me feel poor it makes me feel creative. I can do a better job than those coordinators and I'll prove it. Take on the challenge of your wedding as a game or sport and know you can win.
Reply:yup!! wedding is a matter of u 2. If u want to do it in grand , it will cost very expensive .





Of course , if u make it simple it will save u a lot . Try to budget it like buffet type as well as hotel invitation . For this u already save a lot.





As the wedding gown , try a more simple and budget type.. dont look for those in the magazine ..





Thus , do more market survey before make decision. Dont too stress to it .. Just relax and enjoy survey the things u need .. Just remember u will get more information or knowledge while u doing market survey .. Mayb , in future these may also help ur friends needs .





Good Luck !!!
Reply:I had a budget of 12K, and it turned out beautiful you just have to do your research to find the best prices. I found a hall where we can bring in our own alcohol and paid their bartendars $20 per hour they worked. I ended up spending about $400 in alcoohol and 800 on a photographer, I had him for 10 hours the pics were magnificent the videographer was 1700 that turned out great. I ordered most of my stuff like invites and cake toppers online at discount stores I googled. Good luck
Reply:yes...
Reply:I do think its insane how much people charge when the word "wedding" comes up. I am not one of those brides who will fork over three times what I would normally pay just because its "my special day and only once" like the vendors keep telling me.





I don't feel poor and am proud of myself when I get an amazing price on something or figure out how to make the 100 centerpieces myself for 30. I just get ticked when people look down on me, treat me like I'm trash, or tell me that I'm not ready to get married just because I WONT be spending the average $30,000. In some ways it has helped build my confidence by showing me how resourceful and crafty I can really be.
Reply:Oh, I know! Everytime I write a check to one of these vendors I can feel it in the pit of my stomach. It is amazing to me how one day can effect your finances for the entire year! This wedding industry cleans up!
Reply:Try to remember that a lovely wedding is great but a lovely marriage is better. What I mean is the wedding lasts a day. Marriage is the commitment.
Reply:I am planning mine to. I am getting invitations for like 260 and my photographer is 600 and the ceremony and reception is going to be 8500. So you just have to look to be able to find good worthwhile stuff.
Reply:You're not alone!! I'm about to get married and it shocked my friends and family to see how expensive they are!





We've found a few ways of cutting corners without taking away any of the essentials. For example, I bought my invitations at a craft store and printed them myself. It cost me $35 plus the cost of stamps.





Just a word of warning, it' dangerous to compare your costs to what others are paying without taking into consideration the location of the wedding. I guarantee that $10,000 can get you a lot more in some states than it can in others.





The first place I considered having my wedding would have cost me about $20,000 for an appetizer only, no dinner, very little dancing, very basic wedding. When we changed locations, we were able to go all out and do dinner, drinks, dancing, flowers, cake, rings, honeymoon and everything exactly how we wanted for $15,000. And that was even in the same state!





So make sure you take the "budget guides" with a grain of salt and find out what is appropriate for your area before you feel like you are getting ripped off.
Reply:I think its CRAZY how one special day can cost so MUCH. Its more insance when other people spend 200 thousand on their wedding when they can put that in a house or something. A wedding is special but wow 200 thousand on a wedding I think is just insane. And my fiances cousin just spent that much on her wedding. Our wedding will be about 13 thousand and that is with everything but the honeymoon.
Reply:$10,000 is more than enough for an incredible wedding!!! My wedding may have cost $6000 and it was perfect! We had all of the traditional things and a great photgrapher, dj , flowers invitations catering etc... You just have to do your homework and not trust the first company you see.
Reply:Aw sweetie you are definitely not the only one! I'm in the same boat. My budget started off being 5,000 dollars but sheesh everything adds up. I tried to cut my guest list in half and still came up with 100 people! That's 100 mouths to feed! Oi. That's very smart to make your own invitations and flower arrangements, it will add your own unique touch to the wedding as well. It's a win-win. I'm having my wedding in Okinawa and so all my family and my fiance's family is going to fly out. My fiance has 8 siblings plus his parents so now we have to find accomidations for them and play tour guide and driver amongst all the other things we have to do. It will be great memory builders though. The more you employ your friends and wedding party the more memories you will build and more costs you can avoid. Do you have a friend who is good with arts and crafts? Have them help you with the flowers or the center pieces. :-) Good luck. And congratulations.